Little Notes, Personal

The Charm of a Man

He opens up his arms, asking me
to come to him –
and as if I can resist him, I tried

But my feet seems to have
a mind of its own
as it brings me closer to him

Ah, he’s so warm, like he always does
– smells of fresh laundry, soap,
and something else entirely him
Face buried in his chest
as his hand wraps around my shoulders

Was he always this tall?
Or was I always really just this small?

Are you mad? he asks.

I was before you came knocking on the door,
I wanted to say

Instead I nodded and started to pull away,
– I miss his warmth
& the night suddenly felt very cold

He drops his hand at his sides
and looked at me –
a look that searches my face,
that sees through my soul,
my everything

And he walks away only to come back
An ice cream cup in one hand –
a large one, at that

A peace offering

I reached out and started to eat.
I gave him the look, still.

Inside his car, he reaches for me,
arms wrapped around my waist –
chin resting at my shoulder

Are you still mad, he whispers

I only nodded but really,
I just want the moment to last
a while longer

Then he kisses my shoulder
Arms still wrapped around my waist
Sorry, he says

But all I can think of was his stubble
against my skin as he peppers
me with sweet kisses –

Are you still mad? he reaches out,

I shook my head no –
as if I can really resist him.

He pulls me closer to him,
kisses me on the cheeks
& the forehead – lingering
more than a few seconds, that is.

I basks in the intimacy
& sweetness if it all

Ah, this one’s a precious one
a moment rare and memorable

Perhaps I can do this another time,
– stall when I’m mad and get that
one large ice cream cup,
a dozen of donuts, sweet kisses,
surprise visits, and warm hugs

– All under the night sky,
with the moon and the stars
as witness and audiences.

An hour or so of his presence,
the cold breeze of the night,
a sweet moment all together

A secret satisfaction, a delight
in my heart

And a realization that I can never
truly resist the charm of this man,

– of this man whom I’ve
been with 3 years & 7 months.

Little Notes, Random Thoughts

That Girl Crush

I was sitting on our lunch table when I saw you – a modern day Aphrodite.

Then, at the same moment you stepped to the open deck and found a table, I found myself composing words and sentences to capture the moment. And yet, I was not quick enough to fully draft you the admiration I had for your beauty for the few minutes I was seeing you.

But still I thought you ought to be praised, not for everyone’s sake or your’s, perhaps. But for the sake of the moment captured in a few minutes time.

You were such a gem, so fair skinned, tall, and brunette. You placed your coffee cup on the table, carefully laid your phone and your bag beside you with graceful and careful fingers. Then to my disbelief, you actually lit up a cigarette – a habit the would have sent my admiration gone in a snap.

And yet I just watched you and wondered how beautiful of a lady you could even be while smoking at that very moment.

And as I was typing away all my thoughts of you, suddenly your cigarette was gone, your things gathered up in one hand, your bag slung across your shoulder, and your coffee cup on the other hand. Finally you stood up, with the wind blowing across your face, walked up to the door, and went off to your next destination.

And just like that, you were gone. Gone as you will be in my mind and my eyes.

And as if time conspired with you when you left, all the admiration of that moment vanished into thin air, returning me to the lunch table I was presently at.

Little Notes, Random Thoughts

A Mirror of Me

Have you ever seen yourself in pictures or mirrors and thought that ‘woman’ (or man) as a stranger staring blankly at you? Or perhaps something odd like telling yourself that you seem to not know anything about that woman (or man)? Well, have you? Because I did.

And it was in that moment did I ask ‘Is this how people see me?’ or at some point I just whisper ‘Ah, so this is how I look at some stranger’s point of view.’  But was that really how people saw me? Or was it an illusion played by my imagination to pass the time? Well, maybe they saw me the way I saw my stranger self. But perhaps not, too.

I do not know. At all. But it is a curious thing, is it not?