Life, Personal

Once Upon a Time


Once upon a time I was a young girl looking up the sky – waiting for the giant bird-like machine to fly by over our heads.

Once upon a time I was a young girl who realized that a waiting taxi with my father and his luggage in it means it’s time for him to go back to work and another year or so without seeing him physically.

Once upon a time I was a young girl pretending to be okay – pretending actually that I am not getting dizzy when my father rocks me to sleep simply because I wanted the moment to last a little longer.

Once upon a time I was a young girl who writes lots of letters for my father and keep all his replies in a box, a plastic bag, cabinet, and basically anywhere I can store it.

Once upon a time I was the young girl who walks up to my father’s other side (left or right) to hold his hand in mine while we stroll in the mall.

Once upon a time I was the young girl who looks forward to Sundays mainly because it means it’s movie day with the ‘whole’ family, too.

And once upon a time I was never the self-proclaimed-writer-at-heart person until it was decided that you are to come back Home – in the Heavens where you really belong.

Then suddenly, as if in a trance or a conspiracy of some sort, all of my thoughts were imprinted through words of black and white on ink and paper.

– As if you were telling me that Once Upon a Times never really ended and dissipated together with you; that our once upon a times as father and daughter never really ended that one night when you held my hand and meant not to let go; that our stories of once upon a times as a whole family have never ended and vanished into thin air the moment you breathed your last.

Because it is in the simple telltales of our once upon a times – of yesteryears, of yesterdays that you live through and through. That our stories live through and through – in memories and in hearts.

So on your 3rd all soul’s day, know that our stories of once upon a times continue to grow to be the happy memories they’re supposed to be. That finally, we’re getting a tidbit better than the last. That finally, somehow, I’m beginning to piece the bigger picture of why we have to lose you early in this life.

So for all our once a upon a time stories, thank you Pa.

Know that you’re still one of our motivators and one of the best source of inspiration.


Thank you. Always and Forever.




Random Thoughts, writing

Incoherent at 2am

I was up and awake at 2 am, fidgeting with my phone and hyped up with so many thoughts of you. Yet despite wanting to calm my nerves, I couldn’t do much but type away incoherent thoughts on my phone. It was after a few minutes of struggling to compose one coherent sentence did I finally lay down my phone and tried my very best to summon sleep over my too hyped up thoughts. And before I knew it I was already waking up to my 5:30 am alarm.

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Little Notes, Random Thoughts

That Girl Crush

I was sitting on our lunch table when I saw you – a modern day Aphrodite.

Then, at the same moment you stepped to the open deck and found a table, I found myself composing words and sentences to capture the moment. And yet, I was not quick enough to fully draft you the admiration I had for your beauty for the few minutes I was seeing you.

But still I thought you ought to be praised, not for everyone’s sake or your’s, perhaps. But for the sake of the moment captured in a few minutes time.

You were such a gem, so fair skinned, tall, and brunette. You placed your coffee cup on the table, carefully laid your phone and your bag beside you with graceful and careful fingers. Then to my disbelief, you actually lit up a cigarette – a habit the would have sent my admiration gone in a snap.

And yet I just watched you and wondered how beautiful of a lady you could even be while smoking at that very moment.

And as I was typing away all my thoughts of you, suddenly your cigarette was gone, your things gathered up in one hand, your bag slung across your shoulder, and your coffee cup on the other hand. Finally you stood up, with the wind blowing across your face, walked up to the door, and went off to your next destination.

And just like that, you were gone. Gone as you will be in my mind and my eyes.

And as if time conspired with you when you left, all the admiration of that moment vanished into thin air, returning me to the lunch table I was presently at.


Falling In Love

They say falling in love is easy, staying in love? It is a choice and a decision to make.
However, not everyone has the leisure of falling in love.
Years back, I found a different kind of love. A love that’ll make you swoon over every moment, anticipate every move and happenings, and make you want more. A love I found in words, books, and stories.
It might be hard to understand this kind of love, though. At times I, too, question myself. What do these words possess that others don’t that no matter what I do I still get sucked and stuck into their worlds?

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